I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
