they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
