Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
