He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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