I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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