i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
