Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
