This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
