you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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