just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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