u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hippo gnu deer
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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