I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
