They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
