I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
