I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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