I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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