We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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