it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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