i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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