who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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