For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
