Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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