id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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