he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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