If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
