You can't motorboat a personality
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
