found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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