last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
