I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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