Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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