Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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