thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
