Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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