I'm really into asian looking animals
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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