jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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