Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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