I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
