Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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