Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I want is dick and wine.
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