I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
