sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
