I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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