On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize