Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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