I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
