So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
