So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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