As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize