That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
