i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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