Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
