The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
