I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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