Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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