My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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