I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
