Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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