just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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