Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
