If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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