he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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